I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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