I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i now understand why vodka
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
