She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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