he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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