Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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