I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You can't motorboat a personality
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
