i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
where am i from again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
