As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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