i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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