We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
