I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
