I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize