that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
