it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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