My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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