He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My penis needs a shock collar
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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