opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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