why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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