Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
