she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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