i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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