Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
