He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
vagina is talking i cant
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
