Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
