sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Porn is love you can see.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
