and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
