I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
