He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
