do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
