i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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