Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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