How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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