I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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