Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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