So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
