My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
