Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The feeling are messing with the penis
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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