What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
