I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You smell like stripper and shame
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
