the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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