I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
