If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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