I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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