I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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