We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
