if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
