I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
