Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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