Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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