I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
