I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
