Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
