if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
