i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
