weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
