Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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