this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
