Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
