dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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