I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
