I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize