Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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